Power Moves for the Midlife Crew

I love power moves.  

Power moves with wisdom? Freaking priceless.

We got this in spades all up in here in midlife. 

I've got 'em, you've got 'em. Hard won or easy peasy lemon squeezy, power moves save the day.

Here are many of my hard wons, and a few of my lemon squeezy easies.

Power move #1: Decide who your "everybody" is. As in, "What will everybody think?" You should be able to count these people on one hand. I have two people. These are the people I consider when I'm going for a bold move—however, if the bold move needs to happen, I am my everybody.

Power move #2: Stop doing things you hate. Stop it. Right now. Today. Yes, you may have to do some major tweaking, or some scary stuff, maybe. But, sugarplum, this is your one life. Try to better it! Here's a little happy exercise: Make a list of things you love to do, things you used to love to do, and things you would love to do in the future—and do one of those things. Just one. It's a good place to start when you feel stuck or overwhelmed.

Power move #3: Ask for help. Yes, out loud, to someone. Maybe you are like me and, through necessity, you had to do a lot by yourself for a good, long while. Maybe you think that is easier? It isn't. I know this because I've started asking for help and that makes life easier. Here are some of the requests I have made of late: "Honey, can you lift this ridiculously heavy object? Can you pick up dinner? Can you drive far away to pick up my art pieces? Can you help me process a scary medical diagnosis?” The list goes on and, as it turns out, darling husband loves to help me! This is brilliant! Try it. You might like it. And, by the way, daughters (especially my girl), sons, and friends are really good at this, too.

Power move #4: Boundaries. Have them. If you have yet to form them, especially for difficult folk, time's a-wasting. Make them. Boundaries are blessings—protection for the heart and spirit. Your well-being is precious; guard it. Boundaries—don't leave home without them.

Power move #5: If you want to, stop dyeing your hair. I did, and I love it. It has been one of the most liberating decisions I have ever made. It might seem like a small thing, but I assure you, it is not. This one decision has galvanized countless other feelings of liberation. Try it, you might like it.

Power move #6: Dress the way you darn well please. Dress for joy. Dress for well-being. Dress with no regard for cultural expectations and for any published rag that insists there are "clothes women over [whatever] should never wear." Are you kidding me? Don't buy that poisonous Kool-Aid! Instead, stand for yourself and don't let anyone steal your declaration of self in the way you dress.

Power move #7: Delve into the opportunistic nature of midlife. Be the you that you have always dreamed of being. Take yourself in hand and, step-by-bunioned-step, shape this second act you so richly deserve. Make it your own personal lovefest. Yes, a midlife lovefest—doesn't that feel delicious? If ever there was a time to be down and dirty, authentic and unapologetic, midlife is your time. We are built for this—it is our reward!

Power move #8: This is a really important one. Gravitate toward and nurture relationships with humans who are kind. It is a balm like no other.

Oh, and one more little, bitty thing: Ditch the bra as often as possible. Now, that's a power move. Ahhhh.

Find out about upcoming programs with Rosie Dalton at Kripalu.

This essay originally appeared on Rosie’s blog.