Ever Felt Like You Were Losing Your Daughter?
by Sil and Eliza Reynolds
Ever felt like you were losing your daughter?
(Or have a friend who might feel she is?)
Oh, mama. You're so not alone.
You see, we're a mother-daughter dynamic duo and we've been working together with mothers of preteen and teen daughters for almost 15 years. We even wrote a book together.
And this is the question that started our work:
"I feel like I’m losing my daughter; what do I do?"
Mothers have written to us with these exact words:
"We used to be so close, now I feel like she’s rejecting me."
"Last week, she got embarrassed by me in the grocery store."
"I hoped this would never happen, but I guess it’s inevitable?"
"I’m having sucky deja vu from my childhood, but this time I’m the lame mom."
Sound familiar?
We’re so used to hearing the message in our society that the (painful) disconnect during the teen years is inevitable, and even normal. Teens are going be rude and reject you, or so the old parenting guidebook goes. Mothering & Daughtering is built on the idea that this totally isn't true.
You see, we've found in working with thousands of mothers and daughters over the past 15 years, and in our own relationship, that your daughter actually craves being closer to you than ever during the teen years, just in a different way than before. She's growing up, and your relationship has to grow with her. Makes sense, right? How awesome would it be if she could rely on her mama as her ally, her confidant, and her ultimate support system as she navigates the ups and downs of the feisty, fierce, amazing teen years?
We’re sharing one of our favorite episodes of our free web series, We Thrive TV, with you: and it's all about getting real with the fear of “losing” your daughter, and why it simply isn’t true. It’s ok, mama, take a deep breath. We got you.
P.S. Even if you don’t feel like you’re losing your daughter, this video is for you, too—because we’re all swimming in the cultural sea of normalized disconnect when it comes to mother-daughter relationships, especially in the preteen and teen years. It’s time to change that story.